Monday, April 13, 2009

Breaking News, Vince the Sham-Wow Guy used the Slap Chop to beat up hooker who bit his tongue.

In an interesting bit of news, we here at Free-Market Libertine have gotten breaking news about the case.

This bit we learned from the Smoking Gun.

Shlomi told cops he paid Harris about $1000 in cash after she "propositioned him for straight sex." Shlomi said that when he kissed Harris, she suddenly "bit his tongue and would not let go." Shlomi then punched Harris several times until she released his tongue.

What we have recently uncovered in new court documents is that Shlomi used the Slap Chop to beat up Ms. Harris and tried to clean up the bloody crime scene with the sham-wow. In a shocking revelation which is sure to affect sales for both items, Vince kept asking if Ms Harris, "liked his chopped up nuts" while rambling incoherently while in court for his arraignment.

In lighter news, apparently Phil Spector, O.J. Simpson and Robert Blake have ordered the Slap Chop and Sham-Wow shammies

1 comment:

  1. You see, I already knew this.

    Although those shamwows really do look awesome. OF course, that might be due to the headset he arbitrarily wears during the demonstration.